THE JOB AD:


Chua Hay & Partners
Category Support Staff
Address 19 Carpenter Street
Building Not Specified
Unit #05-01
Postal Code Singapore 059908
Office Tel 6535 8070/1
Fax Not Specified
URL Not Specified
Contact Person Bernard Chiu
Posted Date 10/3/2008
Appointment(s) Available Paralegal
Details Hello there.

Are you bored, unhappy or both with your current job or work environment?

But, you still need to work until your big TOTO win. We understand.

So, if you:-

- have a Diploma in Law & Management;

- have at least 2 years' experience in a law practice doing litigation support; and

- prefer the use of your common sense when working,

we may have a vacancy for you.

Please email for our consideration your resume together with your one-sentence answer (NB: Not exceeding 30 words) to the strictly hypothetical question "Why I deserve a clothing/drinking allowance".


We regret that our Mr Chiu is preoccupied with many unsavoury pursuits and can only (attempt to) reply to shortlisted candidates.

All the same, thanks for reading and best of luck on your quick-pick, system 7.




THE JOB APPLICATION

Dear Sir,

I refer to your Advertisement placed on the Classified section of the Law society website supposedly seeking a legal secretary.

I have a Diploma in Law & Management from Temasek Polytechnic with a year of work experience in Conveyancing and Litigation.

I have a good typing speed with accuracy thanks to a teenage-hood filled with countless hours of typing on MSN and am proficient in MS Office Applications, and have an excellent command of the English language,both spoken and written.

I am able to work independently for the most part and am confident that I can ably add to the growth of your firm. I left my previous place of employment due to petty office politics that I really could do without,and a fervent desire to finally fulfil my childhood dream of becoming a famous Bollywood actress but realised too late that for one, just because my name rhymes with Aishwarya Rai doesn't make me Miss World, two- my bills still need to be paid at the end of the month, and my landlord (my mum) is already on standby to throw me out should I fall behind in payments.

Kindly refer to my resume attached herewith, which provides a brief and concise insight into my work experience and qualifications -to be elaborated upon should I be granted an interview. My expected salary lies in the range of $2,300 to $2,600.

As for why I deserve a clothing allowance, (since I don't drink- except for water that is, and the occasional Starbucks Latte when I feel as if I might want to contribute to the government's coffers by way of paying GST.)I am pretty sure you have grown weary of seeing secretaries arrive at work in the same over-pressed, soon-to-fade, and over-recycled garb all styled in the same conservative long-sleeved and collared fashion that us who belong to the category of legal secretaries can barely afford due to our meagre, CPF - deducted salaries (and that too after less phone bills,transport fare,food and other necessities,rental,savings,repayment of school fees, and yoga lessons etc.) Plus, you'll never know when a Bollywood director might drop into Singapore for shooting a movie, and just in case, I always need to be ready to be discovered, I will be thanking you in my IIFA Awards acceptance speech for giving me the ability to always look good.

Therefore, I guarantee that with such an allowance, and I am confident that it will be a generous one, I will definitely make the most of it to liven up the atmosphere of your office as well as live up to your professional standards (within the boundaries of the proper office dress code of course.Nothing too flashy or adventurous.)

Thank you for your kind consideration, I am confident that my straightforward quirkiness has impressed you to a great measure and therefore shamelessly look forward to a positive reply as soon as possible, that is to say whenever it is that you are able to get away from your many unsavoury pursuits, whatever they may be. :)

Yours faithfully,

Ramkumar Kabetha Bai
Hp:XXXXXXXXXXXX